"Honesty Is Key"

Stephen Sylvester

Hist152

RD3

10/29/10

                                                           "Honesty is key"

Today I am going to talk, to you about the word “Honesty” how it affects us and what the relationship between honesty and the quality of our lives.  (Thesis)I have learned that being truthful, and honest in any situation is the best way” Do right and you can’t go wrong”  (Thesis).  Honesty is, key in life and once you lose your trust and integrity you have nothing.

In this particular situation I will be explaining to you is a story, of a close friend of mine who was dating this girl, to me they were the perfect couple together.  Until not being truthful and honest from the beginning brought their relationship to an end.  They had been together for a few months and both had kids of their own from different partners.  He had confided in me that he never told her who the baby’s mother was.  Reason being it was his recent ex-girl friend, who was the mother of his child and the new girlfriend knew who she was.  He told me it would only cause conflict between them and would not be relevant to their relationship if he told her.  As, a friend I told him to tell her the truth about situation because although this was not blatant  lie failing to tell the whole truth or leaving something out is just as bad, as lying and he should just be honest, I ensured him this was the best course of action.  

Of course he did not listen to me and I could see how this would cause major problems in the future for them, if the relationship was to get more serious or maybe to the next level marriage.  In this article Why we don’t we catch lairs?-Truth-Telling,Lying and self-Deception” states that” In courtship, it is ambiguous whether the parties should expect truthfulness. The saying "all's fair in love and war" would seem to warn lovers not to believe all they are told.”(Ekman)  Which I feel to be true and by the outcome of their relationship proves that truth is always the best for overall quality of life. He would tell me that every time she had asked that question who was the baby’s mother? He would simply avoid it, by changing the subject whenever it came up, she knew what he was doing but she loved him so never really pressed the issue.   At the time this was happening I urged him to come clean, because not telling her was ethically wrong and this was not the right course of action to take in this particular situation.  A few months later he decided he wanted to marry her, she said yes, but that question came up again, and this time he felt it was the time to come clean.  She was so hurt that he didn’t just tell her the truth from the beginning she started to think to herself, what else was he not telling her.  Eventually the relationship came to an end and he had no one to blame but himself.

As a parent I have noticed that, children learn, to lie at such a young age, and is almost like we are all programmed to learn this at some point in our lives.  My daughter is only 3 years old and on a daily basis I catch her lying for every little thing, mostly to get what she wants.  I constantly find myself getting upset, every time this happens.  I use to think she did not mean to lie and just simply did not understand what she was doing, but to be straight forward about the situation they do know what they are doing to a certain extent.  In this article “Lying” states” Preschoolers, tell these types of lies for the same reasons that adults do, but they often don't see anything wrong with telling a lie to gain a result they want. When children this age tell these types of lies, parents should try not to overreact (Zolten).”  We as parents need to instill in our children that lying is wrong and try to explain the benefits from not lying while they are young.

This next story is another example of telling the truth is always the best policy especially, if it is your family because they will always be there for you.  I was about 16 years old and , at the time my life was heading down the wrong path.  I had made many mistakes in my life and learned from them but along the way I had learned something that I probably never should of picked up in the first place, the ability to lie and at the time thought I was good at it somewhat equivalent to a compulsive liar.  I used to lie about every little thing which would get me into so you would not find much trouble with my family, it was like I didn’t think before I said something and what I said was a lie , and the worst part was that I was lying to my family.  In return that got me to a place I did not want to be, in my families eyes I was a liar and could not be trusted.  I later realized that lying ultimately is wrong, in every way possible morally, ethically, and just makes you look bad.

In this article “Is Honesty the Best Policy” written by Justin Honda I found to be very contradicting and morally wrong whether it is a white lie or a hideous lie to get you out of a life and death situation you should have done right from the beginning, then you would not find yourself having to lie in the first place.  In this article Honda writes ‘Lying may not be the best solution for all the problems, but there are some cases where you may or will have to lie for the better good.”(Honda)  Which I find morally and ethically wrong I any given situation you should be able to speak the truth, it is called integrity once you lose that you have nothing.  The word Integrity means “he expects to find in us the common honesty and integrity.”(Dictionary)  Being in the military speaking the truth is expected of you as a soldier and is a part of our ethos when we swear in to the military.

Honesty is so important in our lives today and many things follow with it, to be a morally sound person is being able to speak the truth.  It is, key in life and only positive things come from telling the truth, even if it gets you in trouble for the moment one would not have to worry someone finding out their lies and could lead to something worse.    

                               

               

               

Work cited:

Honda, Justin “Lying is Natural” 10/30/2010. Laulima. 10/30/2010[http://justinhonda.blogspot.com/2010/10/lying-is-natural.html]

Taddonio, Patrice. "All Lies Are Not Created Equal: Professors, Students Take an Honest
Look at Lying." Tuftsdaily.com [Tufts University] 19 Mar. 2004. 30 Oct. 2010 [http://www.tuftsdaily.com/articleDisplay.jsp?a_id=3615].

Zak, Dan. "The Truth About Lying." The Wasington Post. N.p., 25/11/2007. Web. 1 Nov 2010. <http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/21/AR2007112102164.html>.

Zolten, Kriten, and Nicholas Long. "Lying." Center For Effective Parenting. Center For Effective Parenting, 1997. Web. 1 Nov 2010. <http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/Specific%20Concerns%20and%20Problems/lying.htm>.