"Honesty is Key"

Stephen Sylvester

ENG215

FD3

11/08/10

 "Honesty is key"

Today I am going to talk to you about the word “honesty.”  We will be talking about honesty and how it affects the quality of our lives.  [THESIS] I have learned that being truthful and honest in any situation is the best way to get the most out of life.  While growing up I learned this saying ”do right and you cannot go wrong”  [THESIS].  Honesty is key in life, once you lose your trust and your integrity you are left with nothing.

I will be explaining to you about a close friend of mine, who was dating this girl.  In my personal opinion they were the perfect couple, that was until not being truthful and honest from the beginning brought their relationship to an end.  They had been together for a few months and both had kids of their own from different partners.  He had confided in me that he never told her who the baby’s mother was.  Reason being, it was his recent ex-girl friend who was the mother of his child and his new girlfriend knew who she was.  He told me that it would only cause conflict between them and would not be relevant to their relationship if he told her.  As a friend, I told him to tell her the truth about the situation because, although this was not a blatant lie, failing to tell the whole truth or even just leaving something out is just as bad.  I ensured him this was the best course of action to take at this point and time.  

In the end, of course he did not listen to me, and I could see how this would cause major problems in the future, if the relationship were to become more serious.  In this article, "Why we don’t we catch lairs? -Truth-Telling, Lying, and Self-Deception” states that ”In courtship, it is ambiguous whether the parties should expect truthfulness."  The saying "all's fair in love and war" would seem to warn lovers not to believe all they are told” (Ekman).  I feel all of the above to be true and there is proof of this by just looking at the outcome of my friend's relationship.  It proves that truth is always the best for overall quality of life in a relationship.  He told me that every time she had asked him that question "who was the baby’s mother," he would simply avoid it. He would end up changing the subject whenever it came up and she knew exactly what he was doing, but she loved him, so she never really pressed the issue.   At the time that this was happening, I urged him to come clean because not telling her was ethically wrong.  It was not the right course of action to take in this particular situation.  A few months later he decided that he wanted to take the big leap and marry her.  Of course she said yes, but that very question that he was avoiding their entire relationship came up again.  This time he felt it was the time to come clean.  She was so hurt that he did not just tell her the truth from the beginning.  She then started to think to herself, what else was he not telling her.  Eventually the relationship came to an end and he had no one to blame but himself.

As a parent I have noticed that children learn to lie at such a very young age.  It is almost like we are all programmed to learn this at some point in our lives.  My daughter is only 3-years-old and on a daily basis I catch her lying for every little thing.  Most of the time it is just to get what she wants.  I constantly find myself getting upset every time this happens.  I used to think she did not mean to lie and just simply did not understand what she was doing, but to be straight forward about the situation, she does know what she is doing to a certain extent.  In this article, “Lying” states that ”Preschoolers, tell these types of lies for the same reasons that adults do, but they often don't see anything wrong with telling a lie to gain a result they want. When children this age tell these types of lies, parents should try not to overreact" (Zolten).  We as parents need to instill in our children that lying is wrong and try to explain the benefits from not lying while they are young.

This next situation is another example of how telling the truth is always the best policy, especially if it is your family who is involved.  I was about 16-years-old at the time that my life was heading down the wrong path.  I had made many mistakes in my life and learned from them, but along the way I had learned something that I probably never should have picked up in the first place.  This was the ability to lie.  At the time I thought that I was good at it.  I was somewhat equivalent to a compulsive liar.  I used to lie about every little thing, which would get me into so much trouble with my family.  It was like I did not think before I said something and what I said was a lie.  The worst part was that I was lying to my family.  In return that got me into a place I did not want to be.  In my family's eyes I was a liar and could not be trusted.  I later realized that lying is ultimately wrong in every way possible, morally, ethically, and it just makes you look bad overall.

In this article “Is Honesty the Best Policy” written by Justin Honda I found it to be very contradicting and morally wrong.  Whether it is a white lie or a hideous lie to get you out of a life and death situation you should have done right from the beginning, then you would not find yourself having to lie in the first place.  In this article Honda writes, "Lying may not be the best solution for all the problems, but there are some cases where you may or will have to lie for the better good” (Honda).  Which I find morally and ethically wrong in any given situation you should be able to speak the truth.  It is called integrity, once you lose that you have nothing.  The word integrity means “he expects to find in us the common honesty and integrity”(Dictionary).  Being in the military, speaking the truth is expected of you as a soldier and is a part of our etho's when we swear in to the military.

Honesty is so important in our lives today and many things follow with it.  Such as to be a morally sound person is to be able to speak the truth.  It is key in life and only positive things come from telling the truth. Even if at that very moment it gets you into trouble, you would not have to worry about someone finding out about your lies and could even lead to something worse.  Your dirty laundry will always be revealed in the end. 

                               

               

Work cited:

Honda, Justin “Lying is Natural” 10/30/2010. Laulima. 10/30/2010[http://justinhonda.blogspot.com/2010/10/lying-is-natural.html]

Taddonio, Patrice. "All Lies Are Not Created Equal: Professors, Students Take an Honest
Look at Lying." Tuftsdaily.com [Tufts University] 19 Mar. 2004. 30 Oct. 2010 [http://www.tuftsdaily.com/articleDisplay.jsp?a_id=3615].

Zak, Dan. "The Truth About Lying." The Wasington Post. N.p., 25/11/2007. Web. 1 Nov 2010. <http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/21/AR2007112102164.html>.

Zolten, Kriten, and Nicholas Long. "Lying." Center For Effective Parenting. Center For Effective Parenting, 1997. Web. 1 Nov 2010. <http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/Specific%20Concerns%20and%20Problems/lying.htm>.

            

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