"Honesty is Key"

Stephen Sylvester

ENG215

FD3

11/08/10

 "Honesty is key"

Today I am going to talk to you about the word “honesty.”  We will be talking about honesty and how it affects the quality of our lives.  [THESIS] I have learned that being truthful and honest in any situation is the best way to get the most out of life.  While growing up I learned this saying ”do right and you cannot go wrong”  [THESIS].  Honesty is key in life, once you lose your trust and your integrity you are left with nothing.

I will be explaining to you about a close friend of mine, who was dating this girl.  In my personal opinion they were the perfect couple, that was until not being truthful and honest from the beginning brought their relationship to an end.  They had been together for a few months and both had kids of their own from different partners.  He had confided in me that he never told her who the baby’s mother was.  Reason being, it was his recent ex-girl friend who was the mother of his child and his new girlfriend knew who she was.  He told me that it would only cause conflict between them and would not be relevant to their relationship if he told her.  As a friend, I told him to tell her the truth about the situation because, although this was not a blatant lie, failing to tell the whole truth or even just leaving something out is just as bad.  I ensured him this was the best course of action to take at this point and time.  

In the end, of course he did not listen to me, and I could see how this would cause major problems in the future, if the relationship were to become more serious.  In this article, "Why we don’t we catch lairs? -Truth-Telling, Lying, and Self-Deception” states that ”In courtship, it is ambiguous whether the parties should expect truthfulness."  The saying "all's fair in love and war" would seem to warn lovers not to believe all they are told” (Ekman).  I feel all of the above to be true and there is proof of this by just looking at the outcome of my friend's relationship.  It proves that truth is always the best for overall quality of life in a relationship.  He told me that every time she had asked him that question "who was the baby’s mother," he would simply avoid it. He would end up changing the subject whenever it came up and she knew exactly what he was doing, but she loved him, so she never really pressed the issue.   At the time that this was happening, I urged him to come clean because not telling her was ethically wrong.  It was not the right course of action to take in this particular situation.  A few months later he decided that he wanted to take the big leap and marry her.  Of course she said yes, but that very question that he was avoiding their entire relationship came up again.  This time he felt it was the time to come clean.  She was so hurt that he did not just tell her the truth from the beginning.  She then started to think to herself, what else was he not telling her.  Eventually the relationship came to an end and he had no one to blame but himself.

As a parent I have noticed that children learn to lie at such a very young age.  It is almost like we are all programmed to learn this at some point in our lives.  My daughter is only 3-years-old and on a daily basis I catch her lying for every little thing.  Most of the time it is just to get what she wants.  I constantly find myself getting upset every time this happens.  I used to think she did not mean to lie and just simply did not understand what she was doing, but to be straight forward about the situation, she does know what she is doing to a certain extent.  In this article, “Lying” states that ”Preschoolers, tell these types of lies for the same reasons that adults do, but they often don't see anything wrong with telling a lie to gain a result they want. When children this age tell these types of lies, parents should try not to overreact" (Zolten).  We as parents need to instill in our children that lying is wrong and try to explain the benefits from not lying while they are young.

This next situation is another example of how telling the truth is always the best policy, especially if it is your family who is involved.  I was about 16-years-old at the time that my life was heading down the wrong path.  I had made many mistakes in my life and learned from them, but along the way I had learned something that I probably never should have picked up in the first place.  This was the ability to lie.  At the time I thought that I was good at it.  I was somewhat equivalent to a compulsive liar.  I used to lie about every little thing, which would get me into so much trouble with my family.  It was like I did not think before I said something and what I said was a lie.  The worst part was that I was lying to my family.  In return that got me into a place I did not want to be.  In my family's eyes I was a liar and could not be trusted.  I later realized that lying is ultimately wrong in every way possible, morally, ethically, and it just makes you look bad overall.

In this article “Is Honesty the Best Policy” written by Justin Honda I found it to be very contradicting and morally wrong.  Whether it is a white lie or a hideous lie to get you out of a life and death situation you should have done right from the beginning, then you would not find yourself having to lie in the first place.  In this article Honda writes, "Lying may not be the best solution for all the problems, but there are some cases where you may or will have to lie for the better good” (Honda).  Which I find morally and ethically wrong in any given situation you should be able to speak the truth.  It is called integrity, once you lose that you have nothing.  The word integrity means “he expects to find in us the common honesty and integrity”(Dictionary).  Being in the military, speaking the truth is expected of you as a soldier and is a part of our etho's when we swear in to the military.

Honesty is so important in our lives today and many things follow with it.  Such as to be a morally sound person is to be able to speak the truth.  It is key in life and only positive things come from telling the truth. Even if at that very moment it gets you into trouble, you would not have to worry about someone finding out about your lies and could even lead to something worse.  Your dirty laundry will always be revealed in the end. 

                               

               

Work cited:

Honda, Justin “Lying is Natural” 10/30/2010. Laulima. 10/30/2010[http://justinhonda.blogspot.com/2010/10/lying-is-natural.html]

Taddonio, Patrice. "All Lies Are Not Created Equal: Professors, Students Take an Honest
Look at Lying." Tuftsdaily.com [Tufts University] 19 Mar. 2004. 30 Oct. 2010 [http://www.tuftsdaily.com/articleDisplay.jsp?a_id=3615].

Zak, Dan. "The Truth About Lying." The Wasington Post. N.p., 25/11/2007. Web. 1 Nov 2010. <http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/21/AR2007112102164.html>.

Zolten, Kriten, and Nicholas Long. "Lying." Center For Effective Parenting. Center For Effective Parenting, 1997. Web. 1 Nov 2010. <http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/Specific%20Concerns%20and%20Problems/lying.htm>.

            

Log of Completed Activities

x___Oct 13W- Intro to Paper #3. Read the Guidelines for Paper #3. (Confirmation reply required.)

x___Oct 18M- Complete readings for paper #3 for paper #3. (Confirmation reply required.)

x___Oct 22F- Laulima Discussion #1

x___Oct 26t- Laulima Discussion #2

x___Nov 1M- RD3 due [50 pts] Review the guidelines. (Confirmation reply required.)

x___Nov 5F- RD3 evaluations due [50 pts] Review the guidelines. (No confirmation required.)

x___Nov 8M- FD3 due [125 pts] Review the guidelines. (Confirmation reply required.)

"Honesty Is Key"

Stephen Sylvester

Hist152

RD3

10/29/10

                                                           "Honesty is key"

Today I am going to talk, to you about the word “Honesty” how it affects us and what the relationship between honesty and the quality of our lives.  (Thesis)I have learned that being truthful, and honest in any situation is the best way” Do right and you can’t go wrong”  (Thesis).  Honesty is, key in life and once you lose your trust and integrity you have nothing.

In this particular situation I will be explaining to you is a story, of a close friend of mine who was dating this girl, to me they were the perfect couple together.  Until not being truthful and honest from the beginning brought their relationship to an end.  They had been together for a few months and both had kids of their own from different partners.  He had confided in me that he never told her who the baby’s mother was.  Reason being it was his recent ex-girl friend, who was the mother of his child and the new girlfriend knew who she was.  He told me it would only cause conflict between them and would not be relevant to their relationship if he told her.  As, a friend I told him to tell her the truth about situation because although this was not blatant  lie failing to tell the whole truth or leaving something out is just as bad, as lying and he should just be honest, I ensured him this was the best course of action.  

Of course he did not listen to me and I could see how this would cause major problems in the future for them, if the relationship was to get more serious or maybe to the next level marriage.  In this article Why we don’t we catch lairs?-Truth-Telling,Lying and self-Deception” states that” In courtship, it is ambiguous whether the parties should expect truthfulness. The saying "all's fair in love and war" would seem to warn lovers not to believe all they are told.”(Ekman)  Which I feel to be true and by the outcome of their relationship proves that truth is always the best for overall quality of life. He would tell me that every time she had asked that question who was the baby’s mother? He would simply avoid it, by changing the subject whenever it came up, she knew what he was doing but she loved him so never really pressed the issue.   At the time this was happening I urged him to come clean, because not telling her was ethically wrong and this was not the right course of action to take in this particular situation.  A few months later he decided he wanted to marry her, she said yes, but that question came up again, and this time he felt it was the time to come clean.  She was so hurt that he didn’t just tell her the truth from the beginning she started to think to herself, what else was he not telling her.  Eventually the relationship came to an end and he had no one to blame but himself.

As a parent I have noticed that, children learn, to lie at such a young age, and is almost like we are all programmed to learn this at some point in our lives.  My daughter is only 3 years old and on a daily basis I catch her lying for every little thing, mostly to get what she wants.  I constantly find myself getting upset, every time this happens.  I use to think she did not mean to lie and just simply did not understand what she was doing, but to be straight forward about the situation they do know what they are doing to a certain extent.  In this article “Lying” states” Preschoolers, tell these types of lies for the same reasons that adults do, but they often don't see anything wrong with telling a lie to gain a result they want. When children this age tell these types of lies, parents should try not to overreact (Zolten).”  We as parents need to instill in our children that lying is wrong and try to explain the benefits from not lying while they are young.

This next story is another example of telling the truth is always the best policy especially, if it is your family because they will always be there for you.  I was about 16 years old and , at the time my life was heading down the wrong path.  I had made many mistakes in my life and learned from them but along the way I had learned something that I probably never should of picked up in the first place, the ability to lie and at the time thought I was good at it somewhat equivalent to a compulsive liar.  I used to lie about every little thing which would get me into so you would not find much trouble with my family, it was like I didn’t think before I said something and what I said was a lie , and the worst part was that I was lying to my family.  In return that got me to a place I did not want to be, in my families eyes I was a liar and could not be trusted.  I later realized that lying ultimately is wrong, in every way possible morally, ethically, and just makes you look bad.

In this article “Is Honesty the Best Policy” written by Justin Honda I found to be very contradicting and morally wrong whether it is a white lie or a hideous lie to get you out of a life and death situation you should have done right from the beginning, then you would not find yourself having to lie in the first place.  In this article Honda writes ‘Lying may not be the best solution for all the problems, but there are some cases where you may or will have to lie for the better good.”(Honda)  Which I find morally and ethically wrong I any given situation you should be able to speak the truth, it is called integrity once you lose that you have nothing.  The word Integrity means “he expects to find in us the common honesty and integrity.”(Dictionary)  Being in the military speaking the truth is expected of you as a soldier and is a part of our ethos when we swear in to the military.

Honesty is so important in our lives today and many things follow with it, to be a morally sound person is being able to speak the truth.  It is, key in life and only positive things come from telling the truth, even if it gets you in trouble for the moment one would not have to worry someone finding out their lies and could lead to something worse.    

                               

               

               

Work cited:

Honda, Justin “Lying is Natural” 10/30/2010. Laulima. 10/30/2010[http://justinhonda.blogspot.com/2010/10/lying-is-natural.html]

Taddonio, Patrice. "All Lies Are Not Created Equal: Professors, Students Take an Honest
Look at Lying." Tuftsdaily.com [Tufts University] 19 Mar. 2004. 30 Oct. 2010 [http://www.tuftsdaily.com/articleDisplay.jsp?a_id=3615].

Zak, Dan. "The Truth About Lying." The Wasington Post. N.p., 25/11/2007. Web. 1 Nov 2010. <http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/21/AR2007112102164.html>.

Zolten, Kriten, and Nicholas Long. "Lying." Center For Effective Parenting. Center For Effective Parenting, 1997. Web. 1 Nov 2010. <http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/Specific%20Concerns%20and%20Problems/lying.htm>.

               

False Advertisement

Stephen Sylvester

RD2

When I was growing up I used to see all these ridiculous types of ad’s and television commercials.  Even today they are still out there, but not in such an abundance.  Just by watching them I could tell that this was some type of sales gimmick or something just to get me to by their product.

[Thesis] All these advertisements are giving off a false impression of what they are really trying to convey to the consumers.  I am against these false advertisements and would like to hear the truth about each product.[Thesis]

Here, is the new Axe commercial called “wash your balls” that I watched on you tube last week.  I found that it had hit so many logical fallacies.  The first fallacy I would like to point out is in the heading of the commercial itself, “wash your balls.”  They are using populum to appeal to the consumers which are aimed at appealing to the younger generation.  The television commercial starts out with a young woman named Denise Saintclaire.  She has brunette hair and is wearing a plain grayish blue t shirt.  She is portrayed as the spokesperson for this particular Axe commercial.  She steps on stage in front of the audience and introduces herself.  A few seconds later, another woman walks out from behind the curtains and is introduced as the beautiful ex- tennis phenomenon Monica Blake.  Monica is wearing a light blue collared t shirt that looks somewhat like a tennis shirt.  She has blonde hair and it is pulled back in a ponytail with a headband.  I think that gives her a little bit more of a sporty tennis player look.  Here is a perfect example of Faulty Use of Authority.  She is not even close to a credible source of a person with good hygiene by using Axe.  The only credibility that she has is that she is a tennis super star. 

When taking a look at the background of this commercial I noticed that the stage is set up in a modern way.  It was a silver background with the company logo “Axe” lit up with lights.  The lights looked as if you were looking at yourself in a supermodels dressing room mirror.  Just like how there is lights all around the frame of the mirror.  The “Axe” logo is the spotlight of the main stage.  It was the size of almost the entire background itself.  There was a clean, white modern looking table with a dirty soccer ball placed on top of it.  The table had a built in bucket with water so that she could test the product out in front of the consumer.  The audience was filled with mostly men and some women, nodding their heads and looking very interested in the product.  Denise Saintclaire states in her first statement that “no one wants to play with dirty balls.”  In my own opinion I thought that she was implying that women do not like to play with dirty balls of the male gender.  This gives meaning to the words sex sales.  She also uses Non Sequitur and ad Hominem by saying that a regular bar of soap will not cut it and simply cannot get those balls clean.  If that were true, why would we all not switch to using Axe? Then we could all possibly sew other soap and bath wash companies for selling a product that supposedly does not work.  

In the commercial, Monica Blake starts by scrubbing the soccer ball with a green bar of soap.  She states that the bar of soap “just doesn’t cut it and it is still dirty.”  She states that Axe detailer “cleans your balls.”  Then everyone in the audience is smiling and clapping.  Then there is a number posted on the ad to call for a free Axe detailer and it again repeats the statement that the Axe detailer “cleans your balls.”  Then she cleans the dirty soccer ball and a pair of golf balls with the Axe detailer, and body wash.  Monica Blake then hands the pair of golf balls to spokesperson Denise Saintclaire.  She holds them for a second while rotating them in her hand.  She gives a few non-verbal head gestures and says “I can play with these balls all day.”  The crowd then cheers in the background.  In this Axe commercial and like all other Axe commercials, they sell their products by using sexual attraction or the false impression that women will want and desire you more.  These are such bold statements that they make with no real evidence to back up their claims.

Next they then ask the audience if they have any questions.  A few people in the audience stand up toss a few items up like dirty tennis balls, a big sack of soccer balls, and of course the product cleaned them. The commercial starts to come to an end when an old man named Mr. Hackerman walks up to the front stage.  He is rather old with little white hair and is wearing a brown coat and a light brown turtle neck shirt.  He brings to the stage with him what looks like two old medicine balls and asks if the product will clean them.  Monica Blake looks at him and says that “it can clean even his old, dirty balls.” Then the camera turns to audience and focuses in on a single individual, a young man in his prime with a sense of respect for him on his face.  Then the camera returns and the medicine balls and they are like new and the crowd goes wild.  This particular part at the end was the topping on the cake with many different types of logical fallacies.  They are also giving a false advertisement by saying that their product will even make an old person’s balls like new.  The commercial ends, then an ad comes on the screen that has the company logo and a number that you can reach them at.  The ad says to call now and have a free detailer to come and clean your dirty balls while supplies last.   

Stephen Sylvester
10/09/2010
FD2

When I was growing up I used to see all these ridiculous types of ad’s and television commercials.  Even today they are still out there, but not in such an abundance.  Just by watching them I could tell that this was some type of sales gimmick or something just to get me to by their product.  [Thesis] All these advertisements are giving off a false impression of what they are really trying to convey to the consumers.  I am against false advertisements and believe that commercials and t.v ads ultimately have a negative impact on us.[Thesis]

Here, is the new Axe commercial called “wash your balls” that I watched on you tube last week.  I found that it had hit so many logical fallacies.  The first fallacy I would like to point out is in the heading of the commercial itself, “wash your balls.”  They are using populum to appeal to the consumers which are aimed at appealing to the younger generation and target the not so popular crowd.“Commercials for products like these target the insecure. It also gives people an opportunity to take an easy way out. The exercise machine that you pay $200 for, can do what simple walking and eating right could fix. (Asato)”  The television commercial starts out with a young woman named Denise Saintclaire.  She has brunette hair and is wearing a plain grayish blue t shirt.  She is portrayed as the spokesperson for this particular Axe commercial.  She steps on stage in front of the audience and introduces herself.  A few seconds later, another woman walks out from behind the curtains and is introduced as the beautiful ex- tennis phenomenon Monica Blake.  Monica is wearing a light blue collared t shirt that looks somewhat like a tennis shirt.  She has blonde hair and it is pulled back in a ponytail with a headband.  I think that gives her a little bit more of a sporty tennis player look.  Here is a perfect example of Faulty Use of Authority.  She is not even close to a credible source of a person with good hygiene by using Axe.  The only credibility that she has is that she is a tennis super star.

 

When taking a look at the background of this commercial I noticed that the stage is set up in a modern way.  It was a silver background with the company logo “Axe” lit up with lights.  The lights looked as if you were looking at yourself in a supermodels dressing room mirror.  Just like how there is lights all around the frame of the mirror.  The “Axe” logo is the spotlight of the main stage.  It was the size of almost the entire background itself.  There was a clean, white modern looking table with a dirty soccer ball placed on top of it.  The table had a built in bucket with water so that she could test the product out in front of the consumer.  The audience was filled with mostly men and some women, nodding their heads and looking very interested in the product.  Denise Saintclaire states in her first statement that “no one wants to play with dirty balls.”  In my own opinion I thought that she was implying that women do not like to play with dirty balls of the male gender.  This gives meaning to the words sex sales.  She also uses Non Sequitur and ad Hominem by saying that a regular bar of soap will not cut it and simply cannot get those balls clean.  If that were true, why would we all not switch to using Axe? Then we could all possibly sew other soap and bath wash companies for selling a product that supposedly does not work.  

In the commercial, Monica Blake starts by scrubbing the soccer ball with a green bar of soap.  She states that the bar of soap “just doesn’t cut it and it is still dirty.”  She states that Axe detailer “cleans your balls.”  Then everyone in the audience is smiling and clapping.  Then there is a number posted on the ad to call for a free Axe detailer and it again repeats the statement that the Axe detailer “cleans your balls.”  Then she cleans the dirty soccer ball and a pair of golf balls with the Axe detailer, and body wash.  Monica Blake then hands the pair of golf balls to spokesperson Denise Saintclaire.  She holds them for a second while rotating them in her hand.  She gives a few non-verbal head gestures and says “I can play with these balls all day.”  The crowd then cheers in the background.  In this Axe commercial and like all other Axe commercials, they sell their products by using sexual attraction or the false impression that women will want and desire you more.  These are such bold statements that they make with no real evidence to back up their claims.

"In today's media there are a lot of commercials that tend to manipulate the public to spend their money."(Young)  I can strongly agree with this statement with the research I have done and believe in a way that all commercials and ads convey some form of deception.

 Next they then ask the audience if they have any questions.  A few people in the audience stand up toss a few items up like dirty tennis balls, a big sack of soccer balls, and of course the product cleaned them. The commercial starts to come to an end when an old man named Mr. Hackerman walks up to the front stage.  He is rather old with little white hair and is wearing a brown coat and a light brown turtle neck shirt.  He brings to the stage with him what looks like two old medicine balls and asks if the product will clean them.  Monica Blake looks at him and says that “it can clean even his old, dirty balls.” Then the camera turns to audience and focuses in on a single individual, a young man in his prime with a sense of respect for him on his face.  Then the camera returns and the medicine balls and they are like new and the crowd goes wild.  This particular part at the end was the topping on the cake with many different types of logical fallacies.  They are also giving a false advertisement by saying that their product will even make an old person’s balls like new.  The commercial ends, then an ad comes on the screen that has the company logo and a number that you can reach them at.  The ad says to call now and have a free detailer to come and clean your dirty balls while supplies last.  

  

I believe that ads and t.v commercials can be useful but ultimately have a negative impact on our lives.  Through my research I have proved some reasons why ads have a negative impact on our lives and society, and give false impression.

Works Cited

"Axe"Wash your balls"." Axe Detailer cleans your balls. Web. 28 Jan 2010. <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IMwuwrkd3s&feature=related>. 

  Asato, Kristine Online posting. “KAP ENG-215: Discussion and Private Messages.” 24 September 2010. Laulima. 05 October 2010 http://klasato.blogspot.com/2010/10/eng-215w-rd1-advertising-consumerism.html

Young, Daralyn onnline posting."KAP ENG-215;Dicussion and Private Messages.”Laulima 04 october 2010.http://nylarad.blogspot.com/2010/10/wrong-impression.html



Log of Completed Activities
_x_Sep 17F- Intro to Paper #2. Read the Guidelines for Paper #2. (Confirmation reply required.)
_x_Sep 20M- Complete readings for paper #2. (Confirmation reply required.)
_x_Sep 24F- Laulima Discussion: Ad Pros and Cons
_x_Sep 28t- Laulima Discussion: Logical Fallacies Exercise
_x_Oct 4M – RD2 due [50 pts]. Review the guidelines. (Confirmation reply required.)
_x_Oct 8F- RD2 evaluations due [50 pts]. Review the guidelines. (Confirmation reply required.)
_x_Oct 12t- FD2 due [125 pts]. Review the guidelines. (Confirmation reply required.)

Changes in the Tides

 

Stephen Sylvester

06 September 2010

RD1

Changes in the Tides

Growing up I was stuck in a home surrounded by girls.  I lived with my sister, my mother, and my aunt.  When I was younger I got along great with my sister and there were no differences between the two of us.  We were like one in the same.  Then once she hit adolescence she became a completely different person.  Not only did she think that my GI Joes were not cool anymore, but she also wanted her own space.  Till this day she is still this way although it has gotten a little bit better.  After reading Mary Pipher’s “Saplings in the Storm” [411-417 in Dialogues] she explains what my sister was going through at that time clearly and concisely.  She states that between adolescence and menopause, women experience trauma in adjusting to their gender roles and will constantly keep changing from generation, to generation as time goes on due to the role they play in society.

[THESIS]

As a child you are care free with nothing to worry about.  You basically just play, go on adventures, and have fun.  Whereas most women go through dramatic changes which are due to growing older and reaching the age of adolescence.  They have to conform themselves to present female gender roles as society see’s them.  This can be a very traumatic phase in their lives. Then, there is menopause another change in the tide for women.

[Thesis]

In the book, “Reviving Ophelia” [1995], psychologist Mary Pipher states that “pre-adolescence girls are marvelous company because they are interested in everything [426]”.  They are interested in everything whether it is sports, role playing, the great outdoors, music, or just hanging out with family.  This is what most people refer to as tom boys.  Another term that some call these pre-adolescence girls would be androgynous, which is basically a person who is comfortable no matter the situation, regardless of the gender role system.  Pre-adolescence was my favorite times spent with my sister.  Pipher described her to a tee and I can genuinely say that she is correct in her research according to my personal experiences.

As soon, as my sister had reached the ninth grade I had noticed something strange about her personality.  She did not want to hang out with me anymore and she most certainly was completely closed off to my parents.  I noticed the things she and I used to do together didn’t interest her in the slightest bit anymore.  I would try to speak with her about random things like how we used to, but she would sometimes get offended and snap at me in front of her friends.  She would even say nasty things to my parents face that I would never say even behind their backs. Honestly I used to think that it was me, like I had said something wrong with me or even embarrassed her in some way in front of her friends for her to treat me in that way.  As for my parents, I cannot imagine what they used to think.  Some dramatic changes had happened to my young adolescent sister.  After reading this book I feel like she got pressured in social situations to make her lash out at me and my parents.  In the book Pipher states, “they crash and burn in social and developmental Bermuda Triangle[427]”.  That explained everything to me.  My sister was going through exactly this at the time and I feel that Pipher completely nailed it on that one.

I found that Pipher’s statement, “in early adolescence are elusive and slow to trust adults [428]” is also right on the money.  That is the reason that I believe my sister would act out of the norm and lash out at my parents every time they tried to have a family meeting and discuss her direction in life.  Some days she was her old self and would be really nice to me and my parents.  At the time I found that odd and just played along.  I watched what I would say so that I would not say anything wrong that would possibly upset her.  I used to hear my parents speaking to each other wondering what was going on with her.  My mother would always say that she was just growing up and becoming a typical teenager.  I honestly had no idea what a typical teenager was.

By the ending of high school my sister was back to normal.  At the time I was just starting my first year of high school and she was this totally different person.  She was definitely more confident and a much stronger person than she was before.  She was no longer that miserable, self absorbed person that just was so unpleasant to be around.  She looked out for me and I never expected her to snap out of that funk that she was in.  I am glad that she did though because we are closer than ever today.

Works Cited

Pipher, Mary. “Saplings in the Storm.” Dialogues: An Argument Rhetoric and Reader. 6th edition. Eds. Gary Goshgarian and Kathleen Krueger. New York: Pearson-Longman, 2009. 425-432

Stephen Sylvester
 06 September 2010
FD1
Changes in the Tides

Growing up I was stuck in a home surrounded by girls. I lived with my sister, my mother, and my aunt. When I was younger I got along great with my sister and there were no differences between the two of us. We were like one in the same. Then once she hit adolescence she became a completely different person. Not only did she think that my GI Joes were not cool anymore, but she also wanted her own space. Till this day she is still this way although it has gotten a little bit better. After reading Mary Pipher’s “Saplings in the Storm” (411-417 in Dialogues) she explains what my sister was going through at that time clearly and concisely. She states that between adolescence and menopause, women experience trauma in adjusting to their gender roles and will constantly keep changing from generation, to generation as time goes on due to the role they play in society.  [THESIS]As a child you are care free with nothing to worry about. You basically just play, go on adventures, and have fun. Whereas most women go through dramatic changes which are due to growing older and reaching the age of adolescence. They have to conform themselves to present female gender roles as society see’s them. This can be a very traumatic phase in their lives. Then, there is menopause another change in the tide for women.  [Thesis]

In the book, “Reviving Ophelia” (1995), psychologist Dr. Mary Pipher states that “pre-adolescence girls are marvelous company because they are interested in everything."Saplings (426) They are interested in everything whether it is sports, role playing, the great outdoors, music, or just hanging out with family. This is what most people refer to as tom boys. Another term that some call these pre-adolescence girls would be androgynous, which is basically a person who is comfortable no matter the situation, regardless of the gender role system. Pre-adolescence was my favorite times spent with my sister. Pipher described her to a tee and I can genuinely say that she is correct in her research according to my personal experiences.

As soon, as my sister had reached the ninth grade I had noticed something strange about her personality. She did not want to hang out with me anymore and she most certainly was completely closed off to my parents. I noticed the things she and I used to do together didn’t interest her in the slightest bit anymore. I would try to speak with her about random things like how we used to, but she would sometimes get offended and snap at me in front of her friends. She would even say nasty things to my parents face that I would never say even behind their backs. Honestly I used to think that it was me, like I had said something wrong with me or even embarrassed her in some way in front of her friends for her to treat me in that way. As for my parents, I cannot imagine what they used to think. Some dramatic changes had happened to my young adolescent sister. After reading this book I feel like she got pressured in social situations to make her lash out at me and my parents. In the book Pipher states, “they crash and burn in social and developmental Bermuda
Triangle.”Saplings (427) That explained everything to me. My sister was going through exactly this at the time and I feel that Pipher completely nailed it on that one.

I found that Pipher’s statement, “in early adolescence are elusive and slow to trust adults." Saplings (428) is also right on the money. That is the reason that I believe my sister would act out of the norm and lash out at my parents every time they tried to have a family meeting and discuss her direction in life. Some days she was her old self and would be really nice to me and my parents. At the time I found that odd and just played along. I watched what I would say so that I would not say anything wrong that would possibly upset her. I used to hear my parents speaking to each other wondering what was going on with her. My mother would always say that she was just growing up and becoming a typical teenager. I honestly had no idea what a typical teenager was.

By the ending of high school my sister was back to normal. At the time I was just starting my first year of high school and she was this totally different person. She was definitely more confident and a much stronger person than she was before. She was no longer that miserable, self absorbed person that just was so unpleasant to be around. She looked out for me and I never expected her to snap out of that funk that she was in. I am glad that she did though because we are closer than ever today.

 Akiyama Thomas writes "the use of the word trauma to describe the experience women between adolescence and menopause face in adjusting to their gender roles is excessive and mistaken. The definition of trauma to me is a mental or physically event that causes the individual to no longer be effective in their surroundings. It is true, women face different challenges when they enter a certain role in society but trauma is definitely not a factor in they're transition in the role. Females may need to adapt physically or mentally to a field they are going in to just like the male gender". I disagree in my personal encounter with women growing up I had noticed a big change in their mental and physical being. Akiyama was relating to a totally different situation then what Pipher was stating that women at a certain age undergo trauma and social challenge's which cause them lash out and hurt the ones closest to them.  That was my understanding of what she was trying to say.

Works Cited

Pipher, Mary. “Reviving Ophelia.” Savings the Selves of Adolescent Girls. New York: Random House Inc., 1944. p.22

Pipher, Mary. “Saplings in the Storm.” Dialogues: An Argument Rhetoric and Reader. 6th edition. Eds. Gary Goshgarian and Kathleen Krueger. New York: Pearson-Longman, 2009. 425-432

Akiyama, Thomas. "RD1: Changing the Female Definition" Blog entry. 07 Sept. 2010.
Laulima Discussion. 09 Sept 2010. [https://laulima.hawaii.edu/].


Akiyama, Thomas. "Adolescence and Menopause" Online posting. 10 Sept. 2010.

Laulima Discussion. 09 Sept 2010. [https://laulima.hawaii.edu/].

Log of Completed Activities
_X_Aug. 23M- First Day of Instruction. Read the welcome message, which includes instructions on how to navigate our class blog. Next, log in to our Laulima discussion forum and your hawaii.edu mailbox. Become familiar with these instructional media. Carefully review the information in our class blog, especially the schedule and catalog. (Confirmation reply required.)
_X_Aug. 24t- Intro to Paper #1. Read the “Guidelines for Paper #1” by midnight. (Confirmation reply required.)
_X_Aug. 25W- Laulima Discussion: Who Am I? Post your response by midnight. Possible topics: your academic and career goals; your favorite pastime; favorite book, movie, song; favorite physical activity or sport; favorite quote; personal philosophy on the purpose of life; your personal thoughts on why it’s important to become an excellent writer; favorite food or restaurant; favorite vacation destination; etc.
___Aug. 27F- Complete readings for Paper #1 by midnight. (Confirmation reply required.)
_X_Aug. 30M- Set up your blog for class papers. After you’re done, go to Laulima. In the forum “My Blog Is Ready,” post the URL for your blog and invite classmates to visit and post comments.
_X_Sep. 2T- Laulima Discussion: What Is “Trauma”? One definition or many different definitions? Post your response by midnight.
_X_Sep. 7t- Laulima Discussion: Causes & Solutions: What causes gender role trauma? What’s the solution? Assume that there is more than one cause or solution. Post your response by midnight. [10 pts]
_X_Sep. 10F- RD1 (Review Draft #1) due [50 pts] Review the guidelines. (Confirmation reply required.)
_X_Sep. 13M- RD1 evaluations due. [50 pts] Review the guidelines and the introduction to reviewing drafts. (Confirmation reply required.)
_X_Sep. 16T- FD1 (Final Draft #1) due [100 pts] Review the guidelines. (Confirmation reply required.)